I offer, in lieu of anything of substance or entertainment value, the following utterly random and totally trivial facts about ME. Because what's more exciting than things you never wanted to know about someone you have possibly never met? NOTHING.
1. I once bit my sister. While we were in the library. Why? Because you can't scream in the library. Which I totally knew, and so when she went first through the pushy swingy bar thing when obviously she knew I wanted to go first (because my sister was evil) (and a mind reader) I focused all my rage in my sharp little white teeth and chomped my sister right in the back. And, because it was a library and you can't scream in the library my sister totally sucked it up and she did not scream, and what's more for some reason she also didn't quietly let my mum know what had happened and so I totally got away with it. Which, by the way, means you get a bonus trivial fact which is that my sister has an iron will and should never, ever be trifled with.
A few months later I bit her again but I wasn't nearly so cunning and this time did it outside in full view of a complete set of cousins who promptly tattled. I don't remember what was done to me but it probably was less than what I richly deserved.
2. I once slept through a bomb and then lied about having woken up because I missed the bomb! Missing the bomb became a sort of focal point for everything wrong in my young life for quite a while. My mum refused to buy me that nasty ice lolly thing with the red jelly in the middle that was the most amazingly fabulous thing EVER (Because? You could bite the ice lolly and the jelly oozed out and it was JUST LIKE BLOOD!) AND!! I missed the bomb. My sister told me to go pick gooseberries for her from our gooseberry bush (even though she hated gooseberries) and then told me we weren't supposed to go back there as there were wasps and if I didn't do exactly as told she would tell on me and I would probably be beheaded right there and then AND!! I missed the bomb. In fact, to be truly honest, I regret to this day sleeping like a lizard in torpor through the late-night bombing of our neighborhood waterworks.
3. When very very small I was read a story in which the young child was told, randomly, not to put beans up her nose and she promptly did so. I'm pretty sure the story went on to have suffering and tears and things before the offending bean was finally coaxed out - I'm afraid I don't remember. What I do remember is immediately going outside and shoving a small pebble up my nostril. Naturally I couldn't tell anyone what I had done so I suffered agonies instead, sure that I would go through the rest of my (probably shortened) life with a pebble up my nose. For the life of me I can't recall how I finally got that thing out but I assure you my nostrils are, right this moment, pebble free.